• They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso.  The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.

   

• They crossed a Spitz and a Chow-Chow.  The new breed is a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot.

   

• They crossed a Pointer and a Setter. The new breed is a Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

   

• They crossed a Great Pyrenees and a Dachshund.  The new breed is a Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.

   

  They crossed a Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso.  The new breed is Peekasso, an  abstract dog.

   

• They crossed a Irish Water Spaniel and a English Springer Spaniel.  The new breed is a Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean.

   

• They crossed a Labrador Retriever and a Curly Coated Retriever.  The new breed is a Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of laboratory researchers.

   

• They crossed a Newfoundland and a Basset Hound.  The new breed is a Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

   

• They crossed a Bloodhound and a Labrador.  The new breed is a Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.

   

• They crossed a Malamute and a Pointer.  The new breed is a Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't really matter.

   

• They crossed a Collie and a Malamute.  The new breed is a Commute, a dog that travels to work.

   

• They crossed a Deerhound and a Terrier.  The new breed is a Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.

   

• They crossed a Bull Terrier and a ShihTzu.  The new breed is a uhh, I'll get back to you on that.....
• Does Your Cat Own You?

•  

  See how many yes answers apply to you.

   

  • Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?

     

  • Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?

     

  • Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?

     

  • Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?

     

  • Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?

     

  • Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?

     

  • Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?

     

  • Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?

     

  • Does your cat sleep on your head?
    Do you like it?

     

  • Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?

     

  • Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?

     

  • Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

     

  • Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?

     

  • Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

     

  • Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Good Job!!!

• "" class="fw_link_website" > GWThe Cat Diet For People  Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck! DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room. Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house. Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die. Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning. DAY TWO Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it. Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf. Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed. Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room. DAY THREE Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find. Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with. Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor. FINAL DAY Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow. Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon. Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.

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